


A Year In Motion: A Cold January

by Miss_Mil



Series: A Year In Motion [1]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 18:52:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5216855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Mil/pseuds/Miss_Mil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She looks tired, and she looks sad. He’d heard the rumours as to why; her personal life in ruins. But until she told him herself, Jack would pretend he didn’t know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Year In Motion: A Cold January

**Author's Note:**

> A series based on months of the year that occurs post-'Threads'. My take on how Jack and Sam progress their relationship from where they were at the end of the 'Threads' and onwards. There will be 12 parts in all. 
> 
> TAG to season 8 onwards.

January is always cold at the cabin, the endless wind chilling down to the bone of the poor soul who was unfortunate enough to be stuck outside in it. The snow over the nights would eventually build up, crowding the frozen window sills and wooden doorways. The days were short, and the night settled around the cabin like a blanket of black silk, enveloping them all. 

It was New Year’s Eve before the four of them had successfully made it to the cabin after the hell of a year they had. Christmas was spent sorting out problems back at the base, arranging transfers and tidying up loose ends. It really wasn’t anybody’s idea of fun. 

The death of Jacob Carter had hit them all hard. 

Carter is trying to be strong in her own way. But Jack can see through the façade, watching helplessly as walls began to crumble. 

Jack sighs to himself as he busies himself in the kitchen. The snow had come as predicted, effectively banning the four of them from going anywhere else at least until the roads had cleared from ice. 

He doesn't think any of them would really mind.

The three members of his former team sit down in the den where he observes them from a distance. Daniel and Teal’c speak in hushed tones, debating over the new Free Jaffa Nation and their prospective leadership. Carter sits a bit away in the single chair by the window she had come to claim as hers over the years. Her legs are tucked up underneath her as she cradles the tea in her favourite yellow mug. 

Jack hates yellow, and that god-awful mug. But he can never bring himself to get rid of it. 

Her thoughts are elsewhere and Jack watches her with fascination as she stares unblinking out the window into the dark of the night. She looks tired, and she looks sad. He’d heard the rumours as to why; her personal life in ruins. But until she told him herself, Jack would pretend he didn’t know. 

Jack finishes up the dishes, placing the last of them away in the cupboard where they would probably sit for another year, unused until the next great Holiday. He heads down to the den, flopping himself loosely in his chair, beer in hand. Something in his mind tells him that it should probably be his last beer for the evening. 

Their all far too melancholy even without the alcohol. 

Carter still hasn’t moved from her spot by the window; the tea now long-cold but still clasped in her hands.

The clock ticks over to the New Year, and none of them really notice. The mood in the room is solemn, all of them too caught up in the changes that will come to their little family with the coming of the New Year. 

Daniel and Teal’c quietly wander off to bed, leaving Jack and Carter alone in the room. 

She still hasn’t moved. 

They sit for some time as Jack thinks things over, content to just leave her be. 

Eventually Jack gets up to dispose of his empty beer bottle. He moves toward Carter, removing the yellow mug from her hand with gentle force and taking it to the kitchen.  
It’s well past one in the morning by the time he looks at the clock. 

‘Carter,’ he starts. 

A twitch in neck tells him she has heard him, but she continues to stare out the window. 

He moves to sit down opposite her. 

There has been few times in their years together where Jack had felt completely at a loss as to how to comfort her. The loss of Daniel, and then Janet proved the most difficult. After Janet, it was many months until he felt like he was doing a good enough job. If he was really honest with himself, he probably never did a good enough job. The rules just didn't allow it. 

He’d been there for her as her CO, but not as the friend she needed. Or was it something more?

In a strange twist, he finds himself almost wishing Daniel hadn’t gone to bed and he was here instead. 

‘You doing okay?’

It is stupid to ask, but he has to fill the silence. The need to make her smile is too great. 

She deflects his question easily, turning around in the chair to face him fully. 

‘Daniel and Teal’c gone?’

With a flick of his head, he indicates roughly. ‘Uh, yeah. Down the hall. Snow, you know,’ he trails off. 

She shifts abruptly. She’s too smart not to reason the weather would keep them all here. But that’s not what is really on her mind. 

‘So, DC?’

The change in conversation startles him for a minute. 

‘Yeah.’ Jack answers, unsure of where the conversation is going. 

She looks at him with tired eyes. ‘Thought you’d retire before I saw you go to DC.’

The comment is faint, but he hears it anyway. He swallows thickly. 

‘Never thought I’d see you go to Nevada,’ he counters softly. 

She shrugs. ‘Everybody is moving on. I thought it was time I did too.’ 

‘That’s not entirely true.’ 

They stare at each other for a good moment. The ticking of the clock in the hall fills the silence. 

In reality, she was the one who had tried to move on first, beginning a life with a cop that suited her no more than snow suited Africa. But it wasn’t Jack’s place to point this out. 

She looks tired, he acknowledges. He feels weary too. The last few days – weeks, months, and years – have taken a toll on all of them. They no longer look like the SG-1 that sits in a photograph on his mantel piece. His hair has gotten greyer, his face more lined and he knows he has become more cynical. 

Daniel is more of a solider now than the geeky archaeologist he once was, but he too shows the lines on his face of a warrior that has seen battle for many years. Teal’c is much the same, aging slower than the rest of them. Only his eyes tell of a man who has sacrificed so much for his people.

Carter is no longer the young, bright-eyed Scientist-Doctor-Captain she used to be at the start of the program. The years have gotten to her in a way that didn’t reach the rest of the team. She had endured more loss than any of them combined, with the loss of so many close friends and would be lovers. Her spirit was fading with each death that came to pass. 

And now she had lost her Dad.

She still has her enthusiasm for how the world works; the scientist in her never at rest. But the years have weighed heavily down on her shoulders. 

He realises now that her attempt at a normal life with Pete was the only way she knew how to find that part of herself that had become lost. She needed something stable in her life; something that he couldn’t afford to offer. 

Jack bites the bullet. He figures at this point, they may as well be honest with each other. 

‘What does Pete think about you going to Nevada?’

She narrows her eyes sharply, inhaling deeply. 

‘He doesn’t know I’m going.’

The topic of the Police Officer-turned-interfering-asshole was strictly one they both avoided for the past two years. 

But Jack is surprised at her candid answer. He raises his eyebrows in question.

Carter glances down, fiddling with a bit of lint on the sleeve of her well-worn jumper. 

‘I, uh called off the engagement.’

Although Jack knows that she had doubts, he never really expected to hear that from her with such startling clarity and force. 

The surprise shows in his face as she continues. ‘A little while ago. Actually, it was the day Dad died.’ 

She breathes out in a rush. 

He nods slowly in understanding. Jacob had died more than a month ago, and Carter had been a bit off ever since. It makes sense now, as he thinks it over in the dull light of the den. Deep down he knew the reason, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. The question was too dangerous.

And if he was really honest with himself, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. 

Of course, only Carter could see that the engagement was a failure rather than a choice that she made because it was best for her. 

And Jack was going to be the first one to tell her that the choice was the best one she’d ever made. 

One day. But that day isn’t right now. Emotions are too raw, and they are both too fragile. 

Instead he settles for a simple question. ‘Why?’

She looks at him with startling clarity in her blue eyes, as if she really sees him for the first time in that month that has passed. 

‘Because it just felt wrong. And he deserved more than someone who was just settling.’

The words sound foreign to Jack’s ears. And he has never been so relieved to hear them. 

He clears his throat roughly, breaking the tense silence. ‘You know, I tired that once.’

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth in a tantalising way that makes Jack wonder if she’ll do that again for him someday, in a different setting that involved both of them with very little clothing. 

‘Settling,’ he finishes, gesturing roughly between them in an attempt to cover up his awkwardness. 

Sam tucks her legs up closer to her, pulling the sleeves of her jumper down over her hands in a gesture that Jack finds oddly comforting.  
‘How did that work out?’ Sam asks, her voice soft and soothing to his ears. 

Jack shakes his head. ‘Never works.’ 

She smiles gently and he stands up. 

‘Come on,’ he holds out his hand. ‘C’mere.’

It’s their standard form of communication, and she unfolds herself from the chair. Without the combat boots he is used to seeing her in, the height difference is noticeable so that her hair tickles the underside of his chin as he holds her in the same embrace they’ve used for years when the line became too blurred. 

The conversation is far from over, but he knows that’s it for the night. They are both tired and it’s time to rest. 

They stand together for a moment, before Jack pulls back slowly, stepping aside and gently pushing her off in the direction of the spare room. She smiles knowingly, padding her way past him and up the hall. 

He turns off the last light, following her down the hall and heading into his own room. 

In the darkness, alone in his bed, the coldness of the howling wind outside doesn’t seem so bad anymore. 

o-O-o

A few days later the snow finally clears enough for the four to leave the cabin. It’s a quiet moment as they say their goodbyes on the front step. Things are changing, and they all feel it. 

Jack jests that they will see him at the SGC because someone has to make sure Hank Landry is running the place the way it should be run. Daniel smiles and Teal’c inclines his head. 

They know that all of them are going to do the same; check in with each other in a way that makes them closer than just a frontline team.  
It’s only Carter that doesn’t smile. Jack knows why, but he doesn’t call her on it. 

They are all adjusting to the change. 

It’s January after all, and they have a whole year ahead of themselves. 

Teal’c and Daniel head off soon enough, Teal’c in the driver’s seat of his SUV, still smug over his recent victory over the Replicaters and Goau’ld. They wave cheerfully, joking that Jack will never be able to stay away from the SGC and that they will see him soon. 

They don’t mention Daniel’s planned trip to Atlantis, or Teal’c departing for Dakaara the day after next. 

Soon it’s just Sam and Jack, standing outside the wooden door of his cabin, the wind whipping fiercely at their faces. 

Neither knows what to say. It’s not goodbye, but in light of their conversation the night before, Jack feels like he is standing on the edge of a very large chasm, and that at any moment he could fall. 

He never imagines in all his years that this moment could be so pivotal. 

‘I should go,’ her voice is carried by the wind. 

Jack nods slowly. ‘Sure. You’ll be alright?’ 

They both know it’s not the right time to ask her to stay. 

‘Of course, Sir.’

It’s the first time she has used that word over the Holiday. He isn’t entirely pleased to hear it, but it is how it must be. Their new roles are yet to be established, and they are both adjusting to massive changes. 

In a moment seemingly out of character for the solider he has come to know, Sam leans forward and chastely kisses him on his cheek, before turning swiftly and heading down the path to her car. 

Jack hears the snow crunch under her feet as she moves away.

‘Hey Carter!’ he calls. 

She turns back toward him, golden hair brushing across her pale cheeks with the wind. Her blue eyes are shining bright again. 

‘This new job in DC...’ he shoves his hands into the thick lining of his jacket. ‘One of the perks is I have to make regular trips to Nevada, to you know, make sure you gee-uh-scientists are on track out there.’ 

She grins widely, a faint brush creeping up her cheeks. She tucks the hair behind her ear. 

‘Counting on it Sir.’ 

Jack laughs as she climbs into her car, turning the engine over and setting off down the road. 

January was bringing with it a whole heap of change. 

And for the first time in a month, the change was no longer bearing down on their shoulders.

It would be February before Jack would see Carter again. And he couldn’t wait. 

Fin.


End file.
